The Art of Listening – a sure way to Succeed in Business

By Clarice S Theys

Chatterboxes, please don’t feel embarrassed. These are just facts that we can’t ignore anymore. A big part of succeeding in sales or any other career, is being a good listener.

“To listen closely and reply well is the highest perfection we are able to attain in the art of conversation”. This is a saying attributed to Francois de la Rochefoucauld, so, if you`re smart to focus on listening and making it a vital skill - not just in sales, but in any field, you’ll succeed without a doubt.

Here are some pointers:

Ask to-the-point questions. When you want to understand what someone is trying to say, ask clarifying questions like, `If I hear you correctly, you are saying ……. Is that right?`  Don`t hesitate to ask for specific details and examples if the person`s point is still not clear. Questions are prerequisites of a good listener.

Always practice empathic listening. Stephen Covey observed that "most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply." That’s why the highest form of listening is when you strive to understand how the speaker feels. You don`t have to agree or even sympathize, but you can better identify with what`s being said if you use your emotions as well as your intellect.

Listen with more than just your ears.   Occasional nodding, making eye contact and taking notes show that you are fully engaged. It also demonstrates genuine concern for the person you`re speaking with. Do watch his or her facial expressions, eye contact, and hand gestures to pick up on unspoken messages.

Share personal stories. Telling a short anecdote about something from your own life that`s relevant to the discussion helps to break the ice, and makes you seem "more approachable and down-to-earth. Please just be careful not to take over the conversation and make it all about you.

Paint a visual picture. Creating a visual image of what the other person is saying will help you follow what`s being said and remember it later on.

Don`t interrupt. Many bright, talented businesspeople interrupt or finish other people`s sentences without realizing it. Unless the building is on fire or some other urgent need arises, let people finish what they`re saying.

Pause before you reply. Silence is the white space of communication and has a commanding impact. It makes people wonder what you`re going to say next, so don`t be afraid to leave some "white spaces" in the conversation. And of course, a couple of beats of quiet also give you time to consider carefully what you`re going to say before you come out with it, which is never a bad thing. Just don’t drag it out too much in order not to loose your listeners’ interest.

Eliminate distractions. Don`t try to discuss an important subject while either you or the other person is distracted by other tasks. Suggest setting another time to talk, when both of you can concentrate on the topic at hand.

Speak with a purpose. Have you noticed that some of the world`s brilliant

people speak only when they have something important or profound to say? When these people talk, we all listen. It`s often what we don`t say that makes a greater impression on others than what we do say.

Don`t give unsolicited advice. Some people may appreciate your words of

wisdom, but others will get defensive and think you`re trying to change them …

We all have experienced giving advice just to later discover that the person on the receiving end gets upset because we are missing out on the fact that they might just be looking for a sounding board. Sometimes it`s better to give advice only when you`re being paid for it, or at least, only when someone has specifically asked for your opinion.

Applying these tips, will definitely help you succeeding in business as well as in your private life – so why wait - start listening right away!